I’m so Proud of You, Dudes Who Play Female Avatars: A Think Piece

Seriously, give yourselves a whole bunch of pats on the back from me.

I never tire of reading paragraphs-long essays about your decision to always play female avatars, so thank you so much for continuing to write them. My dream is for there to be an essay about a guy playing a woman posted at every major gaming outlet. And hey, I can’t write them, can I? Not just because women don’t make good games journos, either. I literally will never be a man playing a female avatar. That’s my cross to bear.

I loved the passage where you explained how you spent hours making your female avatar hot so you’d have something nice to look at while you spend all that time in-game. I mean, to take time out of your essay about what a great feminist ally you are to reveal you’re still really into sexually objectifying women? How honest. How brave.

The part where you talk about if you have to stare at a butt the whole time, it might as well be a lady-butt was so funny and charming, too. You seem really real.

I’ve been playing male avatars since I started gaming as a wee little girl made of sugar and spice and everything nice, but that’s because I literally didn’t have any choice. You? You don’t even have to play as a woman, and you do it anyway!

Is it dusty in here, or am I just incredibly moved?

I also really like when I’m talking to you IRL and I mention that sometimes it seems silly for certain games to not even give players the option of playing a female character, especially when the protagonist is silent, and you make sure to mention that you always play a female character when given the choice before explaining to me that the developers can tell whatever story they want, and I need to vote with my dollars, and why don’t I make my own game if I’m so bent out of shape about it. It lets me know you’re one of the good ones, you know?

And since I know you’re one of the good ones, I don’t actually mind when you stop listening as I talk about how I’ve actively boycotted several games that don’t include playable women, I’m about halfway through designing my own game, and anyway I’m pretty sure it’s okay to engage critically with any art, games being no exception.

I know you’re really busy saving the games industry from sexism with your avatar choices, and plus you’ve got to copyedit that piece you’ve been working on explaining how you always play female characters!

I can’t wait to read it.